A break

I was going to try to do the whole NoBloMo thing- write a blog post a day for an entire month, thinking that it would spur creativity. Well, that was true for a little while and then I started to sit at the computer and wonder what I was going to talk about that day. I realized two important things about myself: I hate to be forced into things and I am not a very prolific writer. I tried to keep up but in the end I walked away from the computer. I decided that I wanted to take a break from technology and I didn't touch my computer or iPhone for an entire weekend. The world didn't explode and I didn't really feel like I missed anything. That weekend felt so good that I kept it up for another week and then another until I felt ready to come back. In that time I had a great Spring break with my kids. We went to a game ranch and fed many, many animals. We went to the Atlanta Zoo with what seemed to be the entire population of the Metro Atlanta area. We watched the movie Tangled over and over and over again. I yelled at the tv while watching TLC's show "Extreme Couponers"  because those people made me nuts and don't represent normal people. I went to the wedding of a young woman I have known since she was 5 and was so proud of her. My parents watched the boys so my husband and I could go to said wedding together and then have some time to ourselves. I ate a particularly tasty Greek Chicken Wrap from Twisted Taco. I relaxed and got ready for spring and summer. In a word, my break was AWESOME.

So, no more forcing myself to write every single day. I now know that I'll have days when I feel really inspired to write three or four entries a day but they don't all need to be posted at once. I also realized that I hadn't really been expressing my true self because I didn't want to run into any Internet bullies or cause any controversy but I really shouldn't worry about that because no one reads this! Huzzah for being anonymous! I know that I'll still post my shopping trips and my Friday book reviews but I am also going to start writing about deeper things going on in my life. I look on this blog as a glimpse into what my life was like when I was this age and my kids were this small. If others find it, great but they'll play by my rules and respect what I wrote. Life is too short to censor yourself. And, so we move on...

Structure

C and I bought our house 8 years ago, 3 months before our wedding and I'll be the first to admit we had no idea what we were doing. At the time we were both living in relatively small apartments so every house we looked at was totally awesome because it wasn't an apartment. Eventually we found a 3 bedroom, 2 bath ranch that we thought would be perfect and for a while it was. Then, we started procreating and two kids later, our house feels like it is the size of a shoebox and we are anxious to move. We love the school district we are in so we want to stay in this area but the other neighborhoods are way out of our price range. We like to joke that we live in the one poor neighborhood in this massively rich area and we aren't too far off the mark. The housing market in our area isn't as bad as some but it is definately a buyer's market. You can get a lot of house for a little bit of money and this leaves our little house in a bit of a bad spot. Since it isn't a good time for us to sell, we have decided to make lemonade out of the housing market lemons and do a lot of improvements to our house. We think we'll be here for a while so why not enjoy the changes before we sell?

The only problem with doing the improvements is C and I are not super handy and we don't have a ton of money to spend. I think we can do a lot of things ourselves, thanks to advice found on the Internet, a couple of very handy brothers-in-law and classes at Home Depot. C is worried that we are going to screw things up and then have to spend more money fixing things than we would have if we had just hired someone. Right now we have struck a compromise- we are going to tackle things we know we can do ourselves, things like replacing toilets and vanities, painting, redecorating, etc. and let the professionals replace tile, put in hardwoods floors, etc. There are some things we don't have any desire to do, like replacing siding and gutters because honestly, neither C or I are really crazy about heights. A lot of the work will be done piecemeal so we can make sure we will have one project competely paid for before we start on something else. No debt for us!  Our first projects are going to be kind of boring, starting with replacing concrete board and shower tiles in the master bath and then moving on to the outside of the house. Basically our thought is if something is damaging the integrity of our house (I'm looking at you rotting chimney wood), it gets fixed first.

One interesting thing I am now finding out, even after almost 13 years of being together, is how different C and I cope with pressure or the unknown. C  is a bundle of stress right now and beating himself up over things he could have done in the past. I am more philosophical- what's in the past is past and now we move forward. C is dreading all the work that will have to be done and all the money we will have to spend. I am actually excited that we are going to make our house more "grown-up" and that we actually have a plan in place. Of course I have an aversion to spending a ton of money so I am looking forward to the challenge of coming in under budget and finding the best, yet cheapest solution. I'd rather skimp on decorating and spend more to ensure that the structural stuff is done correctly.

Of course this wouldn't be one of my blog posts if I didn't get a little philosophical. There is an old saying (I am paraphrasing here)  that women are like tea bags- they get stronger in hot water. I think marriages are the same thing, or at least mine is. When things get hairy, one of us is always able to calm the other one and keep an eye on the bigger picture. I am sure there are going to be a few times when C and I are going to want to kill each other during these home projects but I know in the end we'll be happy and thrilled with the strength of our house and our relationship.

Do I want to spring forward?

Today is the day we set the clocks an hour ahead, a sure sign that spring is here. What is it about one little hour that makes such a difference in the way we feel? I woke up this morning at too damn early o'thirty and was a bit put off when I remembered it was time to push the clocks ahead because it makes me feel like the day is rushing by. To cope with this shock to the system, we decided to do something fun as a family. After a not very nutritious breakfast of bagels and Boston Cremes at Dunkin' Donuts we took the kids to Fernbank Museum of Natural History  in Decatur. As members we could come in for a sneak peek at the new children's area Nature Quest and to see the exhibit on Mythical Creatures. We had a blast doing all the fun activities in Nature Quest and the kids had a blast running from place to place. If you have kids, this is a MUST. There are live reptiles, microscopes, radios, periscopes, faux rivers that move when you step on them, waterfalls that do not get you wet no matter how long you stay under, rope bridges, tree houses and lots of hands on learning. I love how science and nature were presented in such a fun and hands-on way.
We were given a helpful piece of advice via a sign posted by the main treehouse:

Once we finished with Nature Quest we headed downstairs to see the new exhibit on Mythical Creatures. Both boys loved all the dragons, C and I had a lot of fun joking about all the creatures and laughing at N's reaction to all the topless mermaids. He was quite put out and told me that they needed to "put some clothes on!"

While I'm excited that it is starting to warm up and I know I'll love that it stays lighter longer tonight; I kind of wish I had that hour back today if only for the purely selfish reason that I want one more hour of my kids being the ages they are now. To watch them run around the exhibits with looks of wonder on their faces and knowing that their brains were like sponges absorbing all the information was so amazing. I know there will come a day when they won't want to hang out with their Mom and Dad at home, much less some museum but right now I am going to enjoy every single minute I have with them. I may have to change my clocks but I am going to hold on to each minute with an iron grip.

Lent

I am what you would call a cafeteria cradle Catholic, which according to some people is the worst kind. I was born into the religion so I take it for granted. I also have issues with a lot of the church dogma so I pick and choose what I like and kind of leave the rest. I have toyed with going to other churches but I find that I am having a hard time leaving it because it is what I know. 99% of my family (immediate and extended alike) are Catholic and I attended Catholic school for 9 years. So, while I don't attend Mass with any regularity, there are certain traditions within the church that are hard for me to ignore, Lent being the major one. I find something so soothing in the Ash Wednesday tradition of getting a cross of ashes on your forehead- the reminder that we are all mortal and we will once again return to the earth from which we came. I also like the idea of working on yourself and sacrificing for 40 days so you can truly experience the joy and wonder of Easter. Even if you aren't religious, you have to appreciate any time you can set aside to re-evaluate your life and prepare yourself for the rebirth that comes with spring. Sure, you don't have to wait until the Lenten season but there is something about sacrificing with others that makes me feel like I am really a part of the world community.

Of course, Lent isn't all fun and games. In addition to saying bye to meat and hello to fish sticks on Friday, I am giving up sodas and anything with artificial sweeteners. I really enjoy my Diet Coke, often too much and feel that my water intake suffers and I've even noticed that my migraines increase when I have been drinking too much. In the back of my mind I know that stuff is not good for me and I think my body has finally had enough so why not throw them out now when the sacrifice would mean a little more? I have one body and I need to take care of it the best I can. Oh no, I sound like that Sally Field Boniva commercial! One side effect I hope to have is a weight loss, especially since studies have shown that artificial sweeteners can cause you to eat more because your body never really feels "full" like they would with a real sugar. Plus, a piece of pizza, chips, fries or a burger just lose something taste-wise if you don't have a nice soda to drink, so I might be less likely to eat those foods if I have to wash them down with water. Sorry, H20 just doesn't cut it sometimes!

I'm not going to Mass tonight, but in my own way I am respecting and honoring the Lenten process. I can't wait to see what changes the next 40 days will bring. And, if that change means on Easter morning I take a drink of Diet Coke and it is horrid, well, that just means my Lenten preparations were successful!

Shhh...my baby's got a secret

When I created this blog I decided that it was going to be a space for me to say what I am thinking, good or bad so I haven't told anyone in my family or circle of friends that I am here. Honestly, I am puzzled as to why I haven't. Am I worried that in the future I'll need to say something and won't feel like this is a safe space? Am I just interested in having a little piece of myself that my inner circle doesn't know about, which is a bit absurd as usually (other than very private things) I am an open book. So, I wonder what do others in my position do. Do you let your family or friends accidently stumble upon the blog and let the chips fall where they may OR do you get it all out in the open now with the disclaimer of you might not like what you are going to read? Do you censor your thoughts for fear that Great Aunt Myrtle will really know what you think of her waste of space son?

I don't even know if there is anyone reading this or if I am just shouting into a vaccuum but if you are there, how do you handle your blogging?